christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
all of this.
The girl who was my elementary school girl friend just got engaged and I’m sitting here single wearing a pug shirt and hamburger underwear
Just remember, u r someone’s dream girl
I’m a boy
Tumblr has made us forget that some people are actually straight
I enjoy watching white boys use the word ‘homie’ trying to say it to their friends. “Wait for me, homies!” Yes. Wait up my brethren. My joyous companions, halt for me, for I am down with the hippity hop. We are chums are we not? The four and twenty, ablaze!
I want to invite them out to buy me cake.